Wolf-of-Dawn

Tears they fall and I don’t know why. I guess it makes up for the times that i cant cry. The anger, and frustration, block everything else out. Trapped in a nightmare, I can do nothing about. Fine one minute, the next I am breaking. Can’t keep on this mask of smiles that I’m faking. No one knows of the pain that I am in. Or how tired i am fighting, a battle i cant win. My world is crumbling, fallen at my feet. While I struggle to keep from accepting defeat. I bottle it up just to appear strong. While deep inside, I’ve been broken all along. Its hard to find light, when your drowning in sorrow. and its hard to find strength left to fight for tomorrow.

Another sleepless night. Again, I wonder if its insanity that infects me. Its in these moments, when I close my eyes and wait for slumber to take me, that i am at the mercy of all that i have fought in the day to escape. The search for answers is a tedious one at best. Only upon finding them, do i realize, that it was I that was running and truth that was chasing me. It was only a matter of time. That which we do not face will always manifest eventually. Forcing us to take the bait over and over again until we eventually see it. It plants the nightmare deep inside my mind and waits for me to stumble upon it. I try to fight it but there's no waking up from this dream. And before I can even know what is to come, the chaos of suppressed expression and words unsaid ignites inside of me. The nightmares burn their way to the front of my mind. Unable to find reprieve, I submit to my rage. My sorrows. My paranoia. My fear. And I begin to self destruct once again. In one

I found my self in a tunnel. The darkness was sinister in its depth. The very air itself felt like a thousand splinters, Digging deep into my skin. Like the gasp of a ghost on the back of my neck. The deathly chill scratched its way deep into my bones, And with each agonizing step, I made my way. The cold. The walls were laced with a thistle of barbed wire, twisted and tangled within itself, like a hurricane of razor sharp needles frozen in motion. Every time i fell, The storm would come to life, and try to encompass me in its rage. Writhing and squirming, as if possessed by some demonic entity. Hungry and determined to take me. The storm. With each violent attack, I found myself adorned with a hail of cuts, gashes, Gaping wounds that would have felled any normal man. and with each breath, I felt every ounce of strength slowly bleed its way from my body. Adding to the river of red beneath my feet. As the flowing torrent began to hasten I to, quickened my steps, time was

He bit back a sigh as he watched the young girl scamper about the playground. They'd nearly reached the rip, the edge of the veil between his reality and what was once hers, when she spotted the now twilight dimmed swing set. There'd been little he could do to keep her from jumping on. Her insistent and excited "push me please!" Brought a slight smile to his face. He had been adorned with this task for centuries and it was long ago when he'd come to the agonizing truth; children were the hardest. Adults often knew their time had come. Some may fight it, screaming defiance till the very end, till their last breath; others might instead slide easily into death as if into the cool waters of relief. Death was in turn a blessing or a curse to the mature soul, but still more often then not, the foreseen inevitable. All life in the mortal realm ended eventually. That is simply accepted. Children however, rarely seemed to realize what had befallen them. There were exceptions of course. There

They come and go, to and fro, the voices in my head. They lead me here, and they lead me there, But they never leave me for dead. The poet lies with bloodshot eyes, and his veins they match the sky. Blue, until they fade away, Revealing the venom inside. As light and darkness intertwine, a battle rages on. A bloody fight between two wolves, but which will be out done? Although the ashen wolf is mine, the grim wolf is as well. Forever fighting with my reflection, this duality is my hell. Its said the wolf who shall succeed, Is the one that you most feed. But sometimes, within your mind, This truth remains unseen. The war goes on, no side has won, both wolves remain untamed. and then you start to realize, both wolves, bare true... thy name.

Nothing in my life, has ever trembled the foundations of who i am, like you. When you left, the strongest pillars of my self, cracked and fragmented, collapsed. Unable,.. to bare the weight of all that you could not give, and all that you kept from me. A thousand deaths I would have died fighting. Just to save us. To save you. But the chance was never really mine. for in the end. I was undermined, and in the great collapse, buried. Underneath the ruins.. of the temple, where i once worshiped you. But as i dig myself out from beneath. Scarred.. and bleeding. To breathe the first breaths of a new life, I feel now, for the first time since this storm began, that I am whole... and I am free.

My life is a dark place, no light, no sound Just the fast beat of my heart and the constant sound of my breath I wait to hear the sound of a voice The sound of someone coming to save me  Save me from my hell save me from my self Im sitting in my room, my room of emptiness With my legs crossed i sit and wait for the candle in the middle of the room to be lit But it never was I cant stand it much longer I need to find a way out To weak to stand, i pull my self foward untill i reach the middle of the room I search around in the darkness For something, for anything I found something small, smooth and cold When i realized what i had in my hand  My head dropped even lower then it already hung, I held the shard tight in my hand And let out a loud scream as it dug deeper into my skin I couldn't let go i couldn't stop I wanted to feel the pain, i want to be able to feel something,  I was alone in the dark Now laying, crying, bleeding, i scream one last time  Before.........